Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, either way you are right. – HENRY FORD
How are you finding life at the moment? Is it a joyful experience full of love and appreciation, each day flowing along comfortably and naturally, or are you constantly up against it and feeling kept down? Do you have a feeling of being out of control and powerless to make things any other way? Do you live with a constant feeling of anxiety or fear? Well, I’m here to tell you that you hold the key to either feel at ease or in conflict, kept down or flying high.
Listen up, I’m going to tell you a very powerful secret:
You participate in your own creation, or destruction.
Let me just say that one more time:
YOU participate in YOUR OWN creation, or destruction
YOU, no-one else. If you’re not having a great life experience right now, I can almost hear you screaming at me “But you don’t know how awful my life is!”, or “You don’t know what he/she/it has done to me!” and I do understand that currently, you could be in a living hell, but I hold fast to the statement above.
Let me explain. Bad things happen in life, people do terrible things to others every day. There’s no guarantee that your life will be a bed of roses all the time, sh•t happens as they say. There’s no way that you can control the circumstances and situations in your life, or the behaviour of those around you. People are not there to make your life happy, they are on the planet to live happy lives themselves and sometimes their version of happiness may cause you misery, such as in the break-up of a relationship. Unfortunately that’s part of life and there’s not a darn thing you can do about that. You CAN however control how you react to situations and people in your life. When all goes awry, you have the power of choice. YOU have the power to CHOOSE how you view that life experience.
Here are 3 things you can do to help you to create a happier life experience:
1. Find the Gift
Finding the gift in a situation is finding the positive. It doesn’t mean going into denial and pretending nothing bad has happened, it’s acknowledging that things are not how you would choose them to be at the moment and resigning yourself to the reality, but realising that you can seek out things to feel appreciation for, any little pluses to focus on instead of wallowing in the ‘badness’ of it.
To illustrate what I mean, consider war. War is a terrible thing that causes horrific pain and suffering. You would think that there is nothing good about having to live through a war, however, during the two world wars, technological and medical advancement accelerated dramatically and continued after they had ended. Medics learned so much about dealing with wounds, loss of limbs, treatments and many other areas of medicine that had not existed before the wars, and huge advancements were made in medicine to help people, so when looking at that aspect of war, so much good came out of a horrific event.
YOU have the power to find the ‘gift’ that accompanies all uncomfortable situations in your life. It’s not easy to walk that route, the easy option is to crawl into a hole and bemoan how unfair and horrible your life is and of course, sometimes you do need to do that initially, but you don’t need to stay there for the rest of your life – find the gift.
Think about an upsetting event in your own life. Yes, it was awful and emotionally uncomfortable going through it, but did you emerge a stronger, more compassionate person? When you think about it, consider:
What lessons did you learn about life?
What qualities did you discover you had as a person that you had no idea about before?
What people came into your life to help and support you when you thought you had no-one?
I can honestly say that I would relive all the so called ‘bad’ events in my life given the choice, because I know they made me the person I am today and gave me the ability to empathise and assist others.
On the flipside, you could come out the other side and keep reliving the event in your thoughts and words, perpetually recreating that unhappy time, focusing on all the negatives and bringing it into the present – that’s your choice. There are two distinct ways to view the same situation here – one is an empowering viewpoint with a positive at the end, the other is a never-ending cycle of pain and suffering – YOU choose.
2. Stop Playing the Victim
Victim mentality is widespread amongst humans. It gets passed down from parents to child and unless you have an experience that causes you to wake up and see it for what it is, or someone highlights this destructive habit, you don’t know any different. It’s a very disempowering state of being – you view things as happening to you, people doing things to you against your will. You feel you have no control over your life or state of mind, you’ve been dealt your deck of cards in life and that’s it, you feel stuck, bound into a perpetual state of dissatisfaction and unable to change anything.
Being a victim absolves you of taking responsibility for yourself. You spend a lot of time in a blameful mindset, feeling angry at the injustice of others’ actions and treatment of you. You’ll find all sorts of reasons why they are to blame and you are the injured party, which means you’re giving all responsibility for your life experience over to others.
In order to break free from this state of mind, you must take a different viewpoint on your life experience – take responsibility for yourself and learn to think outside of the box. Often you’ll keep yourself in bondage with unhelpful thoughts that self-perpetuate the situation, so you keep getting more of the same. When you exist in victim mentality you feel the choice has been taken from you, but in truth, you always have a choice on how to view a situation.
When you take responsibility and realise that you are the master of your thoughts and focal point in life, THEN and only then do you gain the power to become your life creator. YOU make the choice to find the positive.
3. Tell a New and Powerful Story
Have you ever met a person that says “Nothing ever goes right for me” as they relate a string of stories where everything has gone wrong yet again? They’re the living proof of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you ask them to tell you only good things that have happened, after a bit of initial resistance they can usually find some really positive events to relay and if they changed their story to “Everything always works out for me” that could also be true – the difference is which story they choose to tell.
Next there are people that are always a joy to be around – positive and upbeat. Then at some point, you have an in-depth conversation and discover that they’ve had some dreadful trauma in their life that you had no idea about because they tell you about the good things in their life, not the negative experiences they’ve had.
In both these examples the people are choosing which aspect of life to focus on, one negative, one positive and more importantly, they are getting the life experience to match the stories they’re telling.
Where to go Now?
If all in your life is doom and gloom, take note of how you’re speaking about your experiences. Stop telling the negative stories, find the positives in your life and tell those stories, no matter how small or how uncomfortable it feels at first. If you can’t tell a good story, say nothing. When people ask how you are, instead of muttering “OK I guess, considering…”, begin to say “Great thank you – everything always works out for me…” and watch how gradually this becomes true. Have faith that things will change, it is quite miraculous. Start finding examples in your life of when everything has worked out well – focus on and tell those stories instead. It takes a little time and practice, but give it a go for a month and see how things change in your life.
The Law of Attraction states that what you focus your thoughts on, grows. Focus on the positive and eventually good things will come – it’s the Law. The most important thing is:
Realising you have trapped yourself with your thought patterns and that YOU are in charge.
Be ready and willing to make the change.
Make the decision you’re going to do something about it. Once the decision is made that is the hardest bit, you will open yourself up to the resources and help needed to get there.
For transparency, some of the following may contain affiliate links which means that if you buy the product, I may receive a small commission. This helps towards me being able to spend time on outputting helpful content such as blog posts. Please be assured that I will only promote items I feel are helpful and which I truly believe in.
If you’re ready to change your life experience and want to try a program that’s designed to automatically reprogram your subconscious mind, to help dissolve your limiting beliefs and scarcity mindset and allow you to manifest the life of your dreams, click here.
I’ve found this book incredibly helpful in my own switch from victim to empowered person and a must for your library. If you would like to learn all about the Law of Attraction: https://amzn.to/2Fpj7fJ
If you struggle against that negative voice inside, this is a great book to read: https://amzn.to/2r8bkxw
If you’d like to learn more about the scientific side, ‘The Power of Neuroplasticity,’ by Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D. presents the scientific discovery that the thoughts we think physically rewire our brains and change our lives: https://amzn.to/2vUgF1a
Happy Creating Young Jedi!